It's too much to ask. I was gone for six weeks. I've been back for nearly two. There's too much to say; I have nothing to say. I can't find my photos. I don't know where to start. I don't want to start. I'm tired. I'm up. I'm cutting back. I'm starting over.
In the U.S., there was a bubble bath or soak called Calgon. In the ads, a woman would say, "Calgon, take me away." That's all I remember.
Calgon was also an "ancient Chinese secret."
One issue I can focus on is that j'ai perdu mon meaujeau. Yes, that's right. Das Motscho. My mojo, eet eess a losted. I'm still without the general mojo, but this morning I did get up to run. How did I get up so early and perky? I had a dream about the Canberra marathon.
Stupid. I never plan on running that one. That's my marathon to cheer. I can stay in one place and see the runners four times. I'm starting to plan this year's costumes already.
I have no business dreaming that I'm running it. I certainly have no business dreaming that I'm out in front. I am. I'm in front when I come across a street that's flooded with ice chunks in the water. If you've ever seen a lake in the process of freezing over, you'll know what this looks like. I'm not about to run through that. It'll be freezing and wet; I'll get frost bite and blisters in one day. I see no way to stay dry except to run along someone's fancy schmancy fountain. I'm crawling along the rocks to stay dry when the rest of the field catches up and runs through the water. One woman, a "running trainer" (a dream creation, go figure), scolds me and tells me that I just wasted time climbing when I should have just run through the water. I won't win now. Sure. I love dreams. It's not that I bolted ahead of the elite and will die in a few more metres. No, it's the climbing over the fountaing to avoid the icy water. That's what'll keep me off the podium.
This "running trainer", who started out anonymous to me and very much the bitchy woman, eventually became Ewen. Now Ewen is running with me. We get to the point in the marathon when we're running down several flights of stairs in a gym slash warehouse (What? You expected logic?), and I decided to jump the last few flights. Ewen said that was cheating. I told him I'd run back and forth on level ground the distance of the other flights to make up for it. Now that we were in the gym, we had to wait until our names were called. When the organisers called our names, we'd get our name on a sticker so the people at the end would know for whom they cheered (vs the bells tolled), and we'd get our number on an envelope with our race information.
While I was waiting, I was putting on the shoes Ewen gave me. These shoes didn't fit and tied funny. My feet looked like bad balloon animals, but eventually I got the shoes tight enough. When I did, I heard my name called. I got my packet and then looked at Ewen. He was carrying my shoes. Turns out, I was wearing his monster shoes, but not even good runners. These are the shoes he'll be wearing when he's 80+ and mowing lawns in dark socks. Mall walking shoes. I have no time to change. I've spent 20 minutes getting them on, and the pins given to me to fasten the race packet are all tangled. It's time to just finish. So I ran the rest of the way (~2 km) barefooted.
At the end, Tesso commented on my ankles. They were bruised from running barefooted. I ended up with a 4:20. Reality Katy with the broken hip should have been pleased, but dream Katy wasn't. She knew she lost time with the fountain and the shoes. It could have been a PB.
So that was the reason why I was able to get up and go. I had something to prove. Or it could have been that other dream that involved being naked under a pile of laundry looking for the movie i had been watching outside in the snow and trying not to be embarrassed that I was nude in front of John Larroquette, the janitor from "Scrubs", and Patrick Duffey or that I told them "I apologise for being nude, but this is how I am most of the time."
Nuh-night, Puss Puss. Dream on.
The day I dream about Ewen is the day I throw in the towel. Now a dream about Tesso. Or even Katy. That I would welcome.
Posted by: speedygeoff | January 12, 2009 at 10:01 AM
That is SO weird. I remember both those commercials, but don't ever remember thinking it was odd that Calgon was bubble bath AND laundry detergent. I wonder if it was the same stuff?!
I can so relate to the feeling, after a long vacation, so many great experiences, but not having the energy or desire to write anything.
Funny running dream! Thanks for the entertaining post.
Posted by: twopinkfeet | January 12, 2009 at 10:04 AM
and to dream about having ewen's nasty old man mall walker shoes... i really need to avoid housework. it leads to weird dreams.
Posted by: moi | January 12, 2009 at 11:44 AM
ooh even reading that makes me a bit confused and scared to go to sleep
Posted by: LBTEPA | January 12, 2009 at 03:13 PM
Calgon is also a great additive for wine, unblocks drains and prevents chaffing.
Posted by: iliketoast | January 12, 2009 at 06:27 PM
You have very exciting dreams. The other night I dreamed I stood in a queue without getting any further forward...for a very long time...with no idea what I was queueing for. I just stood and queued and stood and queued. I wasn't even naked or wearing funny shoes. Just standin' and queuein'.
Posted by: Cirque | January 12, 2009 at 07:00 PM
Hah! Take THAT Susan! Katy is dreaming about ME! Not you. ME! The Dewd!
I can be such a bee-atchy trainer - especially after chucking a tanty. Next 'thon it'll be barefoot over rocks through freezing water.
Now... do you think I'll run PBs if I'm silky all over from bathing in Calgon?
Posted by: Quentewen Tewentino | January 12, 2009 at 07:26 PM
Maybe Calgon took your mojo away. Stick with Dynamo.
Posted by: Tesso | January 12, 2009 at 08:05 PM