Australia Day

This is my first Australia Day as a dual citizen. I plan on breaking one of the bigger Australia Day traditions from the start. I don't eat lamb. I eat meat here and there and am cutting back; however, I never ate babies: veal and lamb. Australia Day is promoted as a lamb-eating day more than it is a day of celebrating what it means to be Australian. I have no idea what that means, but I can say it like I do. To me, being Australian means being a part of a country full of people from all over the world who came to this big island to have a better life. Does that sound familiar? It is also about living with the people who were here first and respecting their traditions. Again, familiar to anyone? Everything else is open to interpretation; however, defining a nationality by meat consumption is weird. You can be a Texan and not eat steak 21 times a week. You can be Australian and prefer Thai and tofu to fatty lamb.

The Americans would hate to think they're not special, and the Aussies would hate to think they're acting similar to the Septics (tanks rhymes with...), but when it comes to their national holidays, they are very similar: BBQs, beer, scorching heat, flags.

Flags are a funny thing. In the U.S. they over-worship their own. Don't burn it, but wave a tattered one over your crappy car dealership. Forget about freedom of expression, but leave your own up in the rain. No, even better--don't look to see if your flag was even made in the U.S. with U.S. cotton. Let it be made from a petroleum biproduct out of a factory in Macau, India, or Mexico.

I don't hate my U.S. flag. I just don't wave it. I love that there are 13 stripes for the original colonies. Those weren't even American. They became American, but they're a reminder that we didn't start here. Our history starts on another continent. And now we have 50 stars to say where we are. These fifty states had--and still have--their own issues. Minnesota and the Sioux uprising. Texas as a republic. Hawai'i, Alaska, New Mexico.

No, I love my flag. I just don't think it should be used to as a tool to show who is more American than who.

The Aussies don't wave their flag as much, but they're no less flaggy. Even when Australia Day isn't near, you can find the flag on beach towels, bikinis, thongs (the ones that blister your toes, not your buns), hats, undies, etc. The beautiful Australian flag is as common of a tat as the American one (percentage-wise). It's a beautiful flag, too. There's the Union Jack in the upper hoist quadrant or the Canton, the Southern Cross in the second and fourth quarter, and the Star of Federation in the lower hoist (third quarter) of the flag. Those stars are a pain to draw, though. Each has seven points for the six states and combined territories. Have you ever drawn anything with seven equal parts? It's a gorgeous flag, but no one considered the little tykes trying to draw it. They started off great: "Let's divide it into four equal parts." However, they dropped the ball with the details: "Let's lump the territories together so the star has seven points. That'll stop those kids who think they can make stars."

And then there's the redneckery. Really, these two countries have more in common than each thinks. Even in Australia there are t-shirts that read: If you don't love it, leave! What? You thought that crap was uniquely American? No. Australia had a chance to be unique and be populated by puppies, kittens, ponies, bunnies, and little doodle beetles, but no. It is a country of humans, unfortunately, and the jackassery gene is uniquely human. Ugliness knows no political boundaries.

This saddens me because not loving it at all times is what makes Australia (and the U.S.) great places to live. You have the right to feel proud when Kevin Rudd said "sorry", but you can also feel ashamed when two women from France are beaten for not speaking English. Unconditional love requires no thinking. I like to believe I have a relationship with both countries with ups and downs, honeymoons and therapy, and bun squeezings and face slappings.

I'm going to make heaps of money with my new t-shirt: If you don't love it, write to your member of parliament or legislative representative, get involved with local politics and action groups, think about what you can to to fix it, and express or explain your displeasure using carefully thought out words and avoid using stereotyping and clichés. Oh man. And what will make my t-shirts special, is that I'm going to hand print all of them. Taking orders now.

So how will I celebrate Australia Day? I have no idea. I think I'll just be me and appreciate that I can without the threat of stoning, beating, or imprisonment. I probably won't be decked out in Australiana, but since I have so far spent most of the day in just a t-shirt and undies, I still feel very Aussie.

Nuh-night, Puss Puss from the American me.
Nuh-night, Puss Puss from the Australian me.

Comments

[Sharon]

I want to order one. Will you take AmEx?

[Joy]

Does it come in XL? Can't squish the girls too much.

[Brooke LIddle]

t shirt and undier = aussie. especially if you drove to the shops like that, got out, bought paper and then drove home eating a pie with sauce.

[lil_shaz]

Yeah, but did you wear pluggers with your t-shirt and undies?

It's just not Oztralyian if you didn't!

:)

[Cirque]

What will make your T-shirt special is that it can only be worn by women with a size 46DDDDD chest. Now THAT'S Australian!

[twopinkfeet]

The irony of those U.S. rednecks who express hatred of flag-burners, while displaying shredded-hint-of-tiny-U.S.-flag mounted to all 4 U.S.-gas-guzzler windows is something I will never be able to describe as eloquently as you. They obviously slept through the flag code lecture in Social Studies; no displaying of flags in bad weather, no displaying at night unless well lit, dispose of worn flags ... preferably by BURNING! etc, etc. Let me know when I can order a shirt. : )

[Quentewen Tewentino]

Size L for me, with small print to test the eyesight of all the girls passing by.

My arvo was at a BBQ - pavlova, aeroplane jelly, fairybread for dessert. Then a Quiz. I didn't win. Where's the big prawn? The big bull? Does anyone really know Bec Cartwright's single? Rogue Traders yeah, but Bec bloody Cartwright!